Below is the documentary we watched in class today, Divorce Iranian Style. Please finish watching and discuss your thoughts and reactions.
-Amir
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13 comments:
After watching this video, I commend the women that persevered to work within the system with dignity and self-respect. It was enlightening to learn that even though a man may have many wives, each wife needs to be taken care of according to a set standard. Each wife must have their own living space and receive financial support. If the man is not able to provide, this is grounds for divorce. The women in this video did appear to have the upper hand and ultimately decisions were made in their favor. I found the judge in this video fair on the decisions that he set into motion.
What a frustrating process! The discrimination against women seems so rampant yet a millimeter below the surface. It was awesome when the young woman in the beginning of the video broke the barrier and started exclaiming that her husband is sexually impotent.
I am just amazed by how much is communicated in these petition hearings by what is not said. The discrimination is the most powerful force in the room, yet the appearance of a deliberation must be maintained -- to the point where the women can not take it anymore.
The video showing the divorce process in Iran was a huge eye opener. Eye opener in a sense that how difficult it is for someone, especially females to get a divorce. One case in the video was unbelievable, when a female (who is applying for a divorce) is told to come after ten days since her file was missing. Also the people in charge of the files are not cooperating and not giving a damn about her problem. The video also demonstrated how brave some females in Iran are. The female in the previous case was a very bold woman. She comes in with the whole family and starts to argue openly with her husband and her brother-in-law. Next thing you know, she says something about her husband being sterile to the judge, and her husband starts to jump around like a monkey. The contradictory thing is that even though it is so difficult to get a divorce in Iran, Iran is still ranked very high as country with high divorce rates.
It's interesting to read that people think the court system is biased against women or is purposefully making their lives harder. Really it is the laws of Iran which are sexist, not the court system. (There is a distinct difference I assure you; courts do not make the laws, but enforce them.) I actually work at a court house in Oakland. I routinely help people with their divorce petitions and sometimes observe court dockets. Except for the difference in law (particularly the theology behind them) and the lack of computers, the courts of Iran are very similar to those of the U.S. Files do get lost/misplaced all the time. I've seen a judge make a defense attorney go get their client's file from another court room, though it was the courts fault for misfiling it. Court officials have the same brisk by-the-book attitude. It may be a bit callous, but it makes me realize that bureaucracy is universal.
There are many more examples I could give, but it'd go on forever. Overall, it was incredibly interesting to see how similar people are, even when their cultures are vastly different.
After watching this documentary, I was inspired from these women and their fight for happiness and rights within their respective marriages. The process is overwhelmingly frustrating and long, involving petition after petition, deal after deal. It was very depressing to hear that these women give up everything they are entitled to, like marriage compensation, just to be free from their husbands. The point of desperation comes far too often for these women.
There were many times in this documentary where my mouth dropped open in shock, which is mostly due to the cultural and legal differences between America and Iran. It is shocking to me that once a girl reaches puberty, some at the age of 9, they are ready to be married! Upon asking for a divorce, they accuse the women of no real reason to be divorced? They are still children!
What was amazing to me was the faces of the women after the court had ruled. One lady covered her mouth because she was smiling so much.
I was very much astonished with the rule that once you are remarried, the woman gives up the children to the father from her previous marriage. The policies on child custody are extremely backwards and immoral, and ultimately affect the child. I was also taken aback with the judge's response to the lady questioning the custody of her youngest child. He threatened to imprison her for five days all because she refused to give up the child. In my opinion, the punishment would not have fit the crime, but Iranian law makes it legal.
It was nice to hear that these women are supported in their demands for respect from their husbands and to be taken care of. In many of the cases, the men were subjected to reforming their behavior to suit the wife in the marriage. It was also very similar to the divorces within the U.S. Settlements and compromises are commonplace here as well, and so are the long, arduous processes of filing and petitioning. Divorce in general is sticky and frustrating, no matter what country you are in.
The divorce process in Iran seems very difficult to get through. This process should be a lot more quick and easy. This documentary covers strong and aggressive women. Divorce is discouraged mainly because children are troubled. The couples are usually encouraged to reach a compromise. I don’t think it is right for the children to be handed over to the father when the mother demands a divorce. If the mother is financially able and wishes to have her children, I think she should be given more priority than the father.
As a child coming from a flawless nuclear family it may seem that I have little to say here. But this is not true. Because I was raised in sacred bubble of suburbia my vision remains clean as from birth, unbespat upon by the liberal poisons and diseases of openness and divorce. I remain unbiased. Bask in my light.
Clearly, obviously—except to a complete dolt—the Iranian system of divorce has neither the problem of openness or easy divorce. There a saucy woman learns her place in the courts, and by extension the world, when, for example when she stands over a law clerk asking for papers that will free her twisted soul from the love of her surely nothing but well meaning and loving husband, the clerk tells her that her standing over him, with the shadow that she casts over his clean and pure work the shadow that even she is, covered in black as she is, is, “turning his tea into poison.”
Finally, someone has courage enough to say it. Woman try and love your husband.
I mean sure, in several of the cases in the film, the young woman who married even younger to a man in his late thirties who lied about his age for example, complain of “perversions” in there husbands, complain of “sanity”, and of the “things he did to me”. For an already covered woman covered mind and surely covered purity, at least in their mind, what could these blights be? We cannot say, sex acts normal to us which are perhaps not normal to these women. The lesson here is like these things unspoken, undescribed , and unknown will remain hidden and not properly understood, a mystery and a pain, a source of confusion and contradiction, much like much of what goes on next to the plain walls and shiny floors of these courts.
It was refreshing to see that the women in this video were strong and had a good stance in the decisions that were made. I agree with most in frustration with this divorce process. It seems so long and hard. I also dont think it is fair that the father gains custody of the children when the mother files for divorce. Honestly, I feel as if woman are more capable of tending to the needs of their children (unless they are not stable enough to raise the children on their own-a decision that can be made in court based on her situation). If the woman is financially stable,she should have an opportunity to gain custody. If both the father and mother are stable, then there should be an equal decision. I don't agree with the multiple wives aspect, but at least each wife is supposed to be cared for equally, with space and support.
I am really glad to see that women in Iran are in some ways fighting back for the injustices and unequal treatment that they receive. Even though many times they are shot down, the fact that they fight is great first step for recieving equal treatment. It angered me that the judge seemed to always take the man's side and say things such as " you need to try and make your husband more happy by dressing up." That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Husbands and wives need to work TOGETHER to save their marriage. Its not just the wifes fault that a marriage is deterioratiting. And as well I think it is ridiculous that a girl can get married at the age of 16 too someone more than twice her age and not be able to divorce him. In all I think Iranians need to change the way they deal with divorces and need to give woman more rights than they have right now.
I am really glad to see that women in Iran are in some ways fighting back for the injustices and unequal treatment that they receive. Even though many times they are shot down, the fact that they fight is great first step for recieving equal treatment. It angered me that the judge seemed to always take the man's side and say things such as " you need to try and make your husband more happy by dressing up." That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Husbands and wives need to work TOGETHER to save their marriage. Its not just the wifes fault that a marriage is deterioratiting. And as well I think it is ridiculous that a girl can get married at the age of 16 too someone more than twice her age and not be able to divorce him. In all I think Iranians need to change the way they deal with divorces and need to give woman more rights than they have right now.
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